The Horizon

ballast in the cacophony

When I was a a young girl, my father learned to sail. He did this largely through books. Our first boat was a 27’ sailing vessel with a small but lovely wooden interior. Dad used to take some of his grad students sailing with him, and I often went along, hiding my fear to the best of my ability. But I hated it. Firstly, I didn’t trust that you could learn such a thing through books. How would you wrestle the sea, the wind, the shifting sails by reading? I didn’t trust my father. In retrospect that was most likely because he wasn’t reassuring or tuned into the anxiety of his daughter. He wasn’t compassionate toward me, more annoyed. Although his enthusiasm, and his enjoyment of the sailing was inspiring.

The graduate students were very cool. The men had long hair and the not all the women shaved their legs. One of the young men had a yin yang symbol embroidered on the back of his blue jean jacket. When my father held seminars in his study on the third floor, they would tramp past my bedroom in a long succession of serious faces, with smiles and winks in my direction. Peeking upstairs I heard them discussing the perspectives that unfolded when looking at an apple. Is there really an apple? Is the apple an idea in our minds? Such strange questions, but they all took them so seriously.

Paloma in the Laundry on my Bed, oil on canvas

On the boat, noticing my fear, one of the young men told me to look at the horizon. The horizon was steady no matter what was happening on the boat. The up and down, the side to side were all stilled if I could keep my gaze on the thin thread of a perfect horizontal.

To this day, the image serves me. When my client (or myself) is tossed in the emotion of contradiction, desire, uncertainty, I tell them to look at the horizon. What is the horizon in psychotherapy? It’s truth. Essence. Keep your eye on the truth and it will balance you. Let every other up and down; your history, your patterns; your pain and ambition, let it all steady and even out like a calm sea when you keep your gaze on the horizon.

I can’t tell you what to do in the face of the times we are living through. But I can make a few suggestions. Get enough sleep. Remember your truth. Speak truth and be open to other perspectives. Most importantly, keep your eye on the horizon of your values, and don’t let them go.

Namaste,

Leslie